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Wallace is Channeling Paul Harvey — And Now The Rest of The Story
Just to be clear, I never mentioned divorce. I am a dog, I am dependent on my Hooman for most things. A separation, maybe, but there is another side to this story.
My Hooman came home a few months ago and she has hardly left the house again since. She is really a lovely Hooman, I got lucky. Until She came home and didn’t leave again I had no complaints. I think we both just need a little space right now, She has really tired me out with all this extra activity taking up the time I used to spend napping. She feeds me lots of yummy treats, takes me for long walks and for lots of swims in the river. We go on many adventures in our car. We had a much nicer car but some other Hooman who was not nice at all was on his square metal thing while driving and hit us. I had just gotten my haircut and nearly fell off the seat when this happened. My Hooman yelled at the other Hooman who was really just a puppy and then she felt bad and let him use her square metal thing to talk into and he felt better.
So my Hooman takes me out now in our new car. It is much smaller, we had what was called Van before, but the Hooman puppies grew up and She got a new car, it’s smaller, and the people that owned it before us had a…
